I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
