ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
