census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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