my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
