i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
