from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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