I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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