tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
