At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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