there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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