He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
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