I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
