It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
