i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
how drunk are you?
Several
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
