One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
