let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
