I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
