we're blogging at a bar
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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