Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
