I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
