I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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