R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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