im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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