She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
