This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
