yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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