1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
