so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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