WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
