i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
