oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
