their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Randomize
