I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
