Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
