I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
