she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
