Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
