There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize