Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
