My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
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