so that wasnt chicken after all
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
