Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize