That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
