Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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