On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize