once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize