I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Boobs speak an international language.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize