Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
