butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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