so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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