I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
