Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
