They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
