I'm laying in your front yard are you home
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
