1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
