i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
