I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
