The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
